I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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