youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
