So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
