The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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