Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
