He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
