Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
