HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
