you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
