Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
