"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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