yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Randomize
