So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
