i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
