Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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