he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
