the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
