If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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