And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
