The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
