I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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