he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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