Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Randomize