She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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