He asked to "fluff my boner.."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
