"it" just moved
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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