i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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