He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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