i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
