So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
