and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
