please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
