just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
