I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
