I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize