Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
