i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
