She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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