How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
