I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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