i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
