census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
