when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
