probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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