about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We're too hungover to prance.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
