My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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