Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
