Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
