A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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