He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
