Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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