I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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