His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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