so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had to cum in my sink.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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