This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize