O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
