the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
