I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My feet surprised me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
