you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We are all done wearing pants today
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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