I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
