his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Is it penis luge time yet?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
