The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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