Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We won't sleep together?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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