Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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